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I recently attended a convocation at the Divinity
School in Rochester. It was a great convocation. While there I
ran across a list of course offerings at the Divinity School. I
thought you might be interested in some of them:
- Abraham & Sarah: The Dysfunctional Family in
Antiquity A study of Biblical models of psychological
integration and mental health.
- Reincarnation Vs. Resurrection A stunning new look
at the Elvis Controversy. Refreshments provided.
- Termites, Hittites, & Edomites: Keeping the Church
Pest-free A continuation of Biblical Entomology I
- Golf for Pastors Models of contemporary Church
Mission & Administration Models of contemporary
Church Mission & Administration. (I believe I am
going to sign up for this one).
- Evil and Aggression A closer look at the 1992
Republican National Convention. Featured readings by R.
Limbaugh and P. Buchanan.
- The Creation of Humanarchy A study of the
theological problems of the oppression of felines,
canines, and other ines by Homo sapiens. Examines the
historic development of pet "ownership,"
"obedience training," and the commoditization
of "domesticated animals." Challenges the
Church to radical evangelization and liberation of our
partners in Creation. Text: Bovine Praxis and Cleanup.
- Confession and Automation Reconsidering the
Sacrament of Reconciliation in light of new technologies,
such as 1-900 numbers and automated phone systems. (For
Sins of the Omission, press 1 NOW; for Sins of the Flesh,
press 2 NOW...)
- Songs White People Sing An introduction to the
Euro-American Spirituals. Requires no sense of rhythm at
all. Featured readings by Pat Boone & Connie Francis.
- Preaching the Word-Perfect Explores the personal
computer applications for sermon preparation.
- The Forgotten Perspective in New Testament Studies
An Eskimo examines the writings of the apostle Paul.
(Parkas and snowshoes required).
- Dealing with Theologies and Physiologies in Transition
Among the varied topics, course will consider "What
to do when your paradigm shifts - with practical advise
from a local chiropractor.
- More Views from the Bottom Re-examing the ancient
food chain of Biblical times in light of new scientific
evidence - were amoeba among "the least of
these"?
- Cults Sects, and Hospitality: Loving the Witness at
Your Doorstep The professor offers details of her own
personal faith journey with members of the Watchtower
Society.
- A Whiter Shade of Pale: The History of Dead White Men
in the Church A continuation of Exhuming the
Patriarchs.
- Creative Television Ministries A "hands-on
approach" to televised appliance healing, Faith
Healing of Troublesome Cellulite Areas, and Hair
Regeneration Lifetime Prayer Partnerhips. Free Gift and
genuine Corinthian leatherette carrying case for first 10
respondents! ACT NOW!
- Development of Modern Heresy: The History of Colgate
Rochester Divinity School Formerly offered as
"All You Know Is Wrong"
In case you haven’t figured it out, this list of course
offerings is a spoof written by a Divinity School student or
students.
 C. David Hess
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